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Merry Chthuluristmas!

December 6, 2011

Between whipping off job applications, trudging through a stack of idiotic credential application paperwork, and totally dominating Cheap Safeway Day (saved 24%, suckas!), I stole myself an hour to bake some delicious gingerbread cookies today. I knew they were going to be top quality because I used a friend’s recipe and it has been previously established as being the business. (For a split second I just imagined myself trying to describe the grammar of the verbs in that sentence to an ESL student. It was a horrible experience for both of us.) The cookies come out chewy and actually stay that way. Top shelf. Plus I got to use my rolling pin for its actual purpose instead of what I normally use it for: tenderizing meat, and banging on the ceiling when the people upstairs are being obnoxious.

Anyway, I slid two sheets of gingerbread people into the oven and this is what I got. Coincidentally (?), my hand mixer burnt out today after 32+ years of service. A friend has theorized that the “special” cookie on the cooling rack had some connection to the mixer’s death. Anything is possible at this magical time of year.

Merry Chthuluristmas! May you and your loved ones forever feel the OctoLord’s tentacles tickling the back of your neck.

Post Postscript: After posting this post I recalled the appearance of a suspiciously eight-legged creature surrounded by sacrificial offerings of pickles and mustard at my cousin’s wedding after-party. It’s important to be aware that dark forces are always at work, even–no: especially–during a family picnic in springtime. This little guy will be haunting the halls of your subconscious tonight…

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