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Google Search History is the New Memoir

June 19, 2011

For the past while I’ve been neglecting the Beard–and you, the reader (I don’t dare pluralize that)–in order to give the business to a series of school assignments. I barely remember anything from the past two weeks. I rarely left my apartment, and when I slept, I dreamed only of lesson plans. Fortunately, dear friend(s?), my computer was keeping notes the entire time! This is an amazing age we live in. The following is a surprisingly descriptive and thorough travelogue of my inner life, June 4-16. A lot of these were image searches that yielded delicious results, but I’m too lazy to write this post as a graphic novel.

There’s no connection between “mosque” and “mosquito,” by the way. I know–I was disappointed too!

adapting articles for esl. ancient monuments. anemia symptoms. angry dog in clothes. banff centre. bathhouse. bbc esl. bildungsroman. bird backpack. brief lecture about technology. bring home the bacon origin. bubble gum vodka. canucks game schedule. canucks score. canucks aftermath. christian the lion. coronation street. couple married for 70 years. crazy infomercial. dangerous jobs. “does either of you have” or “do either of you have”? dog raincoat. dog stroller. egyptian rulers. elizabeth barrett. existential angst. fail blog. first conditional. fist holding pen. funny inventions. future in the past. future perfect. future perfect progressive. future unreal conditionals. giza pyramid. globe and mail. google maps. google translate. greek philosophy terms. hagfish. harper’s. haruki murakami 1q84. hendiadys. history of the world in 10 1/2 chapters. i hate comic sans. infinitive of purpose. “jessie’s girl” lyrics. kill bill 3. leitmotif. london drugs. louvre. migraine medications. mob etymology. mosque etymology. mosquito etymology. mystery birthday present. new york times. nonreleased consonants. north american humour. old couple marriage story animated. owen and mzee. parthenon. people spend too much on pets. plosive consonants. pop-up toaster. repairing drywall crack. revenue canada. roman history terms. samuel l. jackson reads “go the fuck to sleep.” second conditional. shoe phone. snuggie. songs about technology. songs about the environment. songs about working. stanley park vancouver. statue of liberty. stonehenge. synonym for “yellow.” terra cotta army. third conditional. throwing stars. tom jones birthday. ubc robson square. uv rays. vancouver weather. vancouver riot. weird news stories. wonders of the world. zeugma.

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