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Now It’s the Future Now

December 9, 2010

Times have changed, yessiree, even since 1980 when I was born–which was only like 15 or 16 years ago, according to my income bracket and approach to social interactions. The world is a completely different place now, and the signs are all around us. New technologies and new diseases and new sexual orientations are cropping up every day. “Unlike” is a verb. (Remember when it was a comparative adjective? Those were the days, right?) “Defriend” is a thing you can do to people. My god, what an amazing time to be alive.

Everyone notices the technostuff and cyberstuff and genderstuff but as far as I’m concerned, the #1 sign that our ride has left the party and we’re stuck here now is dogs wearing clothes. Seriously, just think about this for a few seconds. In the ’80s you could leave your home and not see one single dog with an outfit on. That type of thing was reserved for cartoon characters and the occasional “fun” Christmas card, but nowadays in these modern times I defy you to walk to the end of your block and not encounter a greyhound in a raincoat. With respect to Florence Welch, the dog days are nowhere close to over. This is pretty much their heyday actually, at least fashion-wise. I live within walking distance of a store devoted exclusively to dog clothing. The dog shirts there cost more than most of the shirts that I wear, and just so we’re all on the same page: I am a human woman, I wear human woman shirts.

It’s a dog-in-shirt world out there. Take care of yourselves.

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