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Some Text Messages from My Phone

October 29, 2010

Just some text messages from my phone.

  • Home. No attempted rapists. I was not attacked by some idiot in the projects.
  • Oh fucking fuck sticks.
  • Il y a une petite Hag mouillee / dans ton foyer. / Ouvrez / la porte, s’il vous plait.
  • You need to erect some sort of a decoy next to the plant.
  • No, you can just use it like a phone, if your computizzle has a microphizzle.
  • I just found the bolo tie you bought me in ’04. Should totally wear it to the Writers Festival.
  • I’m walking to my friend’s house carrying a mixed drink in a glass. This must be what Julian feels like.
  • Why can’t I find a Sphynx cat for sale for less than $1500?
  • Broken relationship would be my best chance.
  • All I want is a fuckin’ huge steak and a series of rums. Up yours, other restaurants!
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