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Pubic Service Announcement

October 1, 2010
  • Do you live in Vancouver?
  • Are you looking for something to do with your time on Sunday, October 24?

Obviously, the answer to both questions is EFF YES. This is what you do: come to the Waterfront Theatre with twelve dollars. Try to arrive in the 3:30-3:45 time slot. Walk in and tell the ticket person that you would like to view Event 66 (emerge, with a small “e”). Your twelve dollars will be exchanged for permission to enter the part of the theatre that has a large number of seats from which the theatre’s stage can be viewed.

On the stage there will be a microphone, and at 4:00, people will start approaching it and saying words. There will be about 25 of these people, give or take. Each of them will be reading something at the microphone for precisely 2.5 minutes. Ideally, applause will occur between readings.

I will be one of the people on the stage, and I would love to see you, or not see you, in the audience. Whether I see you or not will to a large extent depend on three things: the lighting on stage, the position of your seat with respect to my eyes, and my level of overadrenalized focus, which promises to be high, if the rehearsal reading last week was any indication.

Misanthropic? Paranoid? Then buy your tickets online in advance and that’ll be one less person you’ll have to deal with and twelve fewer dollars you’ll have to have in your satchel or rucksack, whichever you carry.

After the reading, there will be another place where you can exchange money for refreshing beverages. **The beverages will be alcoholic in nature.** The readers you will have just seen on stage will be in that room, consuming *alcoholic* beverages and having conversations with people. You could be one of those people! You!!

The erstwhile readers will also be selling an anthology of their work. If you’re any kind of armchair etymologist you will be scratching your beard right now and wondering why a group of writers would be selling a flower collection. That’s very perceptive of you, but in fact, the word “anthology” exchanged its literal meaning for a figurative one centuries ago, and despite its roots, it actually means “collection of writings.”

Is it pretentious to pluralize “writing”? Yes. Definitely. It definitely is pretentious.

See you later this month. I promise to rock the house. References available on request.

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