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Publication Faceoff 2010

March 18, 2010

It’s weird how right now my life is so shitty and yet at the same time so awesome. If Zeus doesn’t help me find a job soon I’m seriously going to tie his testicles in a knot and punch him in the face. Maybe in reverse order, I haven’t decided, and here’s hoping I won’t have to. The way I feel nine out of every ten minutes of every day is best left undescribed.

But that last minute, the tenth of the ten, is always kickass, and usually in some completely unexpected way.

Blogging (goddamn it, I really hate that word) in detail about my classes and workshops is strongly discouraged, for understandable reasons, but I don’t think there’s anything stopping one from writing in a general and positive manner about certain utterances that may or may not have been uttered by one’s minotaur last night. Every two weeks we meet in groups to workshop a piece of everyone’s writing. My submission consisted of a real poem, like a serious one that I actually spent a lot of time working on, every line break meticulously chosen, internal rhymes debated for hours, etc., but I attached the hastily, unhungoverly composed cunt couplets poem as well because I had promised my crapulescent classmates last week that I’d write it and if there’s one thing I want to be known for it’s unsurpassed excellence in the field of honesty and promise-keeping.

I had specified in my e-mail that the first part of the attachment was my real workshop submission and the second one was just for fun. The minotaur, however, not only demanded a reading of the cunt couplets poem yesterday but went on to call it publishable. I asked if she was serious and she said she was, and unlike most of my friends and relatives, she’s not a sarcastic smartass, so I think she might even have meant it. She then said that actually both of the poems I’d submitted for class were publishable. To which I replied: “I wonder which would get published first.”

And a scheme was conceived.

I need to know what the universe wants from me: a toss-off, more or less completely inappropriate thing about cunts that I wrote in half an hour the day after an epic drinking binge, or a serious, emotionally and structurally complex poem that I guess with all the editing and rewriting worked in must have been at least a 15-hour deal.

These are the contenders; each link leads to a different kind of reading experience…

Couplets on a Certain Theme

Artemis Displaced

Feel free to cast a vote. I’m finding this whole situation pretty fascinating and hilarious.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Alison permalink
    March 18, 2010 10:26 am

    I like them both. I think both are publishable. The Artemis one was beautiful (I don’t know how to “critique” poetry, sorry) and the Cunt poem was funny. Different audiences, to be sure. Is there a Feminist Lit mag for the Cunt one? Actually, both could be feminist lit. Ask your minotaur where to send them and then post them off. No regrets, no second thoughts. Harvest the Day!

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