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Couplets on a Certain Theme

March 12, 2010
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ABSTRACT: My minotaur did a reading on Wednesday and one of my fellow manatees asked her a question concerning her use of a particular controversial word in a poem she had read to us. Another classmate then asked her about her use of couplets in her most recent manuscript, and her reply, which hearkened back to the earlier question, included the phrase “cunts and couplets.” This utterance was, to say the least, warmly received by the group, numerous members of which quoted it frequently during the impromptu tribute to Bacchus that occurred immediately following the reading. I promised myself, and may also have promised my crapulent comrades, that I would write a poem about cunts in rhyming couplets at the earliest opportunity, which proved to be less than 24 hours thence: I awoke yesterday morning to discover that, impossibly enough, my debauchery had gone entirely unpunished by the gods. I hope we can all agree that I used my reprieve to the utmost.

We poets write of hopes and fears,
Of sunsets and of rain,

Of love and loss, of smiles and tears,
Of pleasure and of pain,

Of friends and lovers false and true,
Of Venus and of Mars,

Of grains of sand, of drops of dew,
Of galaxies and stars.

Why, nearly every theme on earth
Has pleased a poet once,

And yet there’s a surprising dearth
Of verse concerning cunts.

Some who’ve not put the word to use
Cite lack of opportunity,

But poetry’s a great excuse
To say it with impunity.

And, as the Muses watch us work
(Nine ladies, if you’ve counted),

Cunts are a presence we can’t shirk:
They’ve got our pens surrounded.


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