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Salamis in Salamis

March 5, 2010

Trolling the Craigslist job postings today I came across an advertisement for a Content Writer.

Which syllable does one stress? I can only apply if it’s the first one.

Anyway, this business got me thinking about heteronyms. (My last post was pretty homo, so I thought I’d switch it up today. Relatedly(?), as we speak, it so happens that I’m eating nuts. Abnormally greasy nuts.) Since 1997, every time I see the word “Salamis” in a Greek history book, my brain insists on pronouncing it like the meat, and every time I see it at a deli, my brain equally insistently pronounces it like the island. I have tried in vain to correct this glitch, but it always always happens. Generally people don’t even notice heteronyms because the context tends to make it obvious which pronunciation is required. Do they have salamis in Salamis? Who can I ask?

There was a similarly distracting post on Craigslist yesterday: SEWERS NEEDED.

You can’t tear a tear or sow a sow or wind the wind, and I’ve never met a bass who could play the bass guitar. A minute is minute compared to an hour. The dove dove into the birdbath. How many asses can I get for a hundred asses? Does anyone know how many does?

How dare you intimate that we were intimate! You’re such a degenerate that you could degenerate no further!

Sorry to subject you to this subject. I should resume working on my resume.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Jim Class permalink
    March 11, 2010 10:02 am

    I resent resent emails.

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