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Test Results

December 22, 2009

(Carrying on from yesterday’s post…)

5. CONCLUSION

Contrary to my hypothesis, yesterday’s statistics were no higher than usual.

I believe this was due to a flawed experiment. The majority of the terms I included in the post were common everyday words and phrases, so that when some pervy guy entered them into a search engine, my blog would have been merely one of hundreds of thousands of results. Also, a lot of the items in that post were just inside jokes that I have with my friends. That probably didn’t help either. In hindsight, it’s doubtful that anyone other than [Never U. Mind] would Google “hanging twins” or “Hello Silenus,” let alone “Charlton Heston reads the internet.” That last one wasn’t even remotely sexual. In a couple of weeks, once I’ve reestablished my reputation for first-class blogular wit and intelligence with a series of hauntingly lyrical, darkly humourous, lyrically humourous, hauntingly dark posts, I intend to undertake a second experiment in which I will post a list of much freakier and more scandalous and original sex-themed terms such that if anyone happens to Google them, Our Daily Beard will almost certainly be among the top five results. The reason why the curious citizens of the world who Google “grandmother anal” consistently end up at my blog is that there are likely not many blog entries that contain those two words at all, let alone in a row. It will take several days to compile a list of nasty search terms (suggestions are welcome!), but I believe version 2.o of the statistics test will yield the desired result. I’m disappointed, but I know we can do this. Don’t stop believin’.

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